The FAT of the Matter!

Let me say this at the start itself—I am a staunch believer in inner beauty. That being said, women use “inner beauty” as a defence mechanism against all of their physical shortcomings just as often as Captain America uses his shield against the Marvel baddies. But I would like to believe that behind the shield and underneath all that bravado, he is just a regular guy wanting some really awesome (and slightly more helpful) superpowers. Or wanting to be Tony Stark because, well… Ironman!

And just like that, every woman who struggles with a weight problem prattles on about how outwardly appearances don’t matter, all the while secretly beseeching herself to fight that flab. Like life isn’t unfair already, lets throw in a weight problem!

Honestly though, being fat (What? Its quicker than typing “overweight” each time!) isn’t as bad as they make it sound, is it? Yeah sure, there is the constant ridicule from friends and enemies alike. And okay, every shopping trip you embark on makes Hercules’ twelve tasks seem like cakewalk. Not to mention, your self-esteem takes a hit every time you see your friends trying out millions of options that you would never have had before deciding to buy something (all the while thinking how your choice would have been so much better than theirs had you been that thin). And of course, your weight is a hurdle in the quest of finding a good-looking husband, as you are constantly reminded by every female relative and your friendly neighbourhood auntie.

Jeez. Okay. I see the point. The battle must be fought.

I have this theory. If God were a woman, she wouldn’t have cared much for Eve enjoying a little bit of fruit. Cos see, that’s healthy! Not a lot of calories there! But what if it were chocolate? The truth is, women lost the battle the day they discovered chocolate. It can make you feel like nothing in this world could ever go wrong. No dress, no compliment, absolutely nothing can make you feel as good as chocolate. You would think a bar (or two) of chocolate a day would be acceptable considering its therapeutic effects. Curse the calories for destroying that beacon of hope! Luckily, research suggests that dark chocolate is pretty good for health and does not hinder weight loss. Don’t get me wrong, I love dark chocolate to death, but give up those Lindt Truffles, Hershey’s bars and Dairy Milk Silks to look pretty? Umm… methinks not!

And really, it’s almost cruel, bordering on inhuman, to ask anyone to give up on butter and cheese! Ah! The two things that can make anything taste heavenly! And avoiding ice cream? That would be like turning your back on a friend who has always been there for you when you were down in the dumps! Er… sorry Belgium Chocolate Family Pack, but I’d rather be friends with the Size 4 section at Forever 21!

And here my naïve dietician was, trying to convince me to avoid indulging in these! According to her, when initially trying to lose weight, it is necessary to signal your body that your eating habits are about to undergo a drastic change. And so, you have to abstain from fattening foods completely. Not even a sliver is permitted in the first couple of weeks. Then once you started losing weight and have mastered the urge control (not likely!), you could cheat on the diet once in a while. Gee, that’s a relief (sarcasm intended).

If that’s not enough, you have to exercise too. Now, asking someone like me to put down her books (ASOIAF), shut down her laptop (Sherlock Season 3) or sacrifice on that oddly overpowering early morning sleep for exercise is like asking Severus Snape to brew you a love potion—not gonna like it very much, you see. Especially during the summer holidays, when the sweltering heat compels you to stay indoors and wallow in abject lethargy because you have nothing to do and nowhere to be. But the pursuit of a healthy and fit lifestyle is not without sacrifices, my friend.

So, despite all that cribbing and cursing, here I am, armed with a firm resolve, prospects of a wardrobe revamp and the S Health app on my Samsung phone (pretty helpful), ready to fight my way to a fitter and slimmer me. Being a law student, listing out the pros and cons of anything is part of the job description. And this post was exactly that—a way to convince myself to actually start working towards a healthier lifestyle and better clothing options. Also, once my decision is public, I am more likely to stick to it considering the taunts that might come my way if I am ever caught cheating on my diet or exercise regime.

If this post inspires you to eat right and work out, then I would love to discuss different techniques for weight loss and healthy eating. If you’re one of those health freaks with suggestions that might help ease my suffering, your help is needed! As for those with naturally high BMRs, who can eat all the carbs in the world and still boast of perfect figures, it would be best if you just, you know, steered clear for now!